Foremost, I should be a bit more clear about two things: 1) my dietary habits prior to the last 30 days and 2) other changes I made during the last 30 days.

I have been what I would call “nutritionally sound and aware” for about 4 years, now. In 2008 I began to do independent research on food and nutrition and changed my eating habits SLOWLY. I never went on a “diet” and the only things I ever gave up completely were fast food and soda (although I gave those up long before 4 years ago). I have always (for at least 10 years) enjoyed healthier foods: veggies, whole grain pastas, etc. However, I had an emotional eating habit and I never paid much attention to portions. So while I wasn’t scarffing down quarter pounders and 32 oz sodas, I was eating 4-5 pieces of homemade pizza or 2-3 servings of cereal for breakfast. When I decided to change that, I made the conscious choice to respect the slow process of learning to cope with emotions outside of food, and to maintain an activity level that helped me adjust even if I had one or two “bad days.”

As the years progressed and I lost 10, 20, 30, 40+ pounds, my motivation to hone my nutrition increased and become more and more interested in the finer points of nutrition: macro and micronutrients. I consulted a dietitian and kept reading more about food as fuel. I began to modify my intake by experimenting with different foods and finding the ability to listen to my body – to know what good digestion feels like, to know what doesn’t make me feel slow and bloated, to know what gives me energy for a workout and repair after one. Once I hit 150 lbs (down from 215 only 4 years prior), my body hit a stasis point. I still ate well, but I consumed a lot of carbs… and a lot of added sugar. I should say that this is mostly due to my endeavors in triathlon and endurance training, but it threw me off. I couldn’t lose anymore weight or body fat.

So I decided to go clean. I wanted to see if the delicious lattes and extra Clif bars, sweeteners in my iced coffee, and, ok, my addiction to bananas (sometimes 3 a day!) were keeping me from shedding a few inches around my waistline. So while the most prominent part of the past 30 days (and I’m keeping this up, mind you) has been watching out for additives (hello pasta sauces!), I have also been keeping sugar in general pretty low (under 70 grams a day) and carbs carefully monitored, as well. This is what I learned:

1) I could never have done this if it were a drastic change. If I did not have years to change my mental attitude toward food, this would probably cause me to relapse. Take it slow – always.

2) Your pallet truly does change. Bell peppers are like candy when you don’t eat added sugars for a while. And yes, you can survive without sweetening your oatmeal. I am living proof.

3) Unsweetened baking cocoa + protein powder + a little bit of water = a PMS’ing girl’s best friend. Do it. Add strawberries. Delicious.

4) You will feel better. All around. Mentally, physically – you’ll even sleep better.

5) I don’t need sugar and it’s not expensive or difficult to get rid of it. Does it take some discipline? Yeah, but what doesn’t? As long as you know what you want out of changing your eating habits, you shouldn’t have trouble reminding yourself.

6) It really is your diet. I didn’t work out any harder or any more than what I have been doing for the past 2 years. And in 30 days, I saw a substantial change in my body composition. The scale only moved 3 lbs or so, but I lost inches and body fat – and that’s what counts.

About a year ago I downloaded a free application on my iPhone called Daily Burn. The developers advertised their app as a way to track your health and fitness goals and share them with a community in order to foster support for yourself and others. Seems innocent enough, right? Perhaps.

Not long after that I realized that Daily Burn had every intention of shoving endless feet in endless doors within the wellness community (however loosely you’d like to define it). From guest-bloggers to the steady shared stream of new studies and general info on health, DB seemed to have no filter on the perspectives it chose to share to its ever-growing audience. It also became abundantly clear (after their endorsement of Gatorade products which are widely renounced by many dietitians, sports physicians, and trainers) that whomever paid to be featured by Daily Burn would in fact find a colorful promotion of their particular product displayed on the website and Facebook page.

Now, I haven’t been the only dissenter in the ranks. Other Daily Burn followers/subscribers expressed their dissatisfaction with certain choices the company made, all the while citing the obvious money-driven nature of their product promotions. And as far as I had seen, each and every one of us prefaced our discontent with “we know you have to pay the bills, but…” And the difficult part of that prefatory remark is that I do accept that a company wants to be profitable (or at least be able to sustain itself) *however* I am not comfortable with for-profit entities proclaiming to provide information for the best interests of its subscribers. Moreover, I am (and have always been) disturbed that people enter in to business to gouge people in exchange for their health and wellness. Even FURTHER, to do so without the values that do not seem to be able to fit with salary gained from advertising revenue.

It remained alright on my end because I know better – I have had years to independently educate myself about fitness, nutrition, and overall wellness. My concern is for those who turn to Daily Burn at the beginning of their journey – those who look to Daily Burn to provide them with information that will help them live a better, more active life. And my concerns have grown and multiplied in recent months due largely in part by two situations:

1) Some months back, Daily Burn enthusiastically announced that they had signed on a young lady to be their “Inspiration Ambassador.” This person, in their eyes, was the epitome of what it means to inspire others through hard work and healthy living. Her job (and their goal) is to inspire others with her story, regularly offering advice and encouragement to the Daily Burn audience. Well, that sounds lovely, right? It would indeed be lovely if it weren’t for one important factor: this young lady lost 100 lbs. Even now you might be thinking: But that’s excellent! That’s amazing! Way to go!” And I’d be cheering right along with you if she hadn’t lost 100 lbs due to dangerous, invasive weight loss (lap band) surgery. As I said in my initial comment to Daily Burn, I am not discounting this woman’s story or suggesting that she doesn’t deserve to be given respect for her personal challenges. What I *am* suggesting, though, is that there are MANY people out there who have lost 100+ lbs *not* as contestants on the Biggest Loser and *not* due to the PHYSICAL INABILITY TO CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES OF FOOD (and certain types of food).Why not ask *those* people to sign on to inspire your audience or real people with real lives and real goals?

I further push this issue because weight loss is more so about nutrition than it is about working out. We all know that you can be in the gym 6 days a week for 1-2 hours a day and you won’t see results you desire if you put toxic fuel in your tank. We all know that abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym. We know that while being fit and in shape is an excellent way to live, it does not create the overall picture of health – not even close. And for most people, nutrition and discipline around food remains the greatest challenge of their lives. To me, when you ask people to be inspired by someone who couldn’t manage that discipline on their own but instead had to be forced into it – you’re asking a little too much.

Weight loss surgery is an incredibly serious choice and a dangerous procedure. I acknowledge that there are several complex factors that come in to play when people choose to go through with such an invasive procedure, and I respect that choice – but it is not the healthiest decision nor am I inspired by it. And in regard to the Daily Burn community, I am not alone.

2) Today, Daily Burn revealed that they would be chronicling the story of a man (a blogger who is now know to many for his podcast Fat2Fit Radio) who has decided to gain 60 pounds for the sole purpose of losing it again just to show people just how simple it is. I hope I don’t have to go on for several paragraphs about just how problematic this is. Personally, I don’t endorse anyone toying with their health/body just to prove a point (a la Morgan Spurlock in Supersize Me). Intentionally gaining weight just to lose it again to “show off,” somehow believing that your own personal experience of weight loss (your own genetic capacity to gain/lose weight at a certain rate with a certain set of training/nutrition) transcends to EVERYONE else is simply ridiculous. Experienced individuals (Mr. Fat2Fit included) understand that environmental, genetic, psychological factors are at play with weight loss – and while it’s always *possible* it is NOT ever “as simple as that!”

Again I called for Daily Burn to reach out to the undoubtedly thousands of people who have real stories of weight loss and transformation – to reach out to people who did not intentionally gain weight as if it’s some sort of show and tell. I suggested they ask “regular” people who do not have a voice in a popular podcast or don’t have thousands of advertising dollars and offer them the chance to write a blog or to have their lives chronicled. I guarantee that the average person just struggling to get through their day will find more inspiring the tale of someone who has just as hard a time getting to the gym or preparing their food for the week. I know that most people would rather read about the slow, painstaking process of losing 20-30 pounds and how it only came after a lot of pitfalls – I think people would prefer that over the borderline mockery of a man who deliberately gains weight just to show off how easy it is for him to shed it.

And speaking of shedding things, I am shedding my affiliation with Daily Burn. At this point, I’ve had enough of the insults to my intelligence and the intelligence of those in their community whether novice or expert.

Scratch that one off the list, folks – I am officially a triathlete with a shiny medal and a swollen foot to prove it!   It’s really quite funny that when racing the warrior dash last month, I worried the entire time that I would injure myself running up and down muddy hills.  Instead, I injured myself running the last leg of my triathlon.  Silly off-road running… running on grass *stinks!*

Regardless, the experience was fantastic and so were my fellow triathletes! An all-female triathlon was inspiring and I am proud to have raced beside such amazing women – especially the ones who blew past me in the swim!

Walking out to the starting buoy!

As I anticipated, my swim was a nice, slow slog through the water. I didn’t train for the swim portion as much as I should have but I swam well enough to get through it and for my first triathlon, that’s the only goal I set for myself. The swim was comfortable and fun. I’m a total fan of back-stroking my way to a modicum of glory.

As I ran out of the water, I knew I’d make up time on my bike.  And let’s not even talk about transitions – suffice to say I forgot to UNTIE MY SHOES while setting up my transition. Again, it’s a good thing I wasn’t trying to be competitive on my first time out.

This is what I think about my transition times (or, this is a candid pic of me scratching at my nose).

As I went to take off and smoke peeps in the bike portion, my chain popped. Awesome! Luckily it took less than 30 seconds for a handy dude on the curb to toss it back into place for me. Had I done it myself, it would’ve easily been another 60 seconds.  Thanks random handy dude! Aaaaaaaannndddd I’m off! ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! The wind was pretty rough in two spots on the course, but nothing these quads couldn’t handle. I passed *several* people and nobody passed me! *beams with pride*  Yes, I take pride in my sub-4 minute miles because A) I don’t have a race bike and B) I choose not to use clipless pedals for outdoor riding.  And yes, clearly I do the bulk of my training on the bike. Feel free to tell me all about how I need to fix that. I will. I promise. Cross my heart!

Biking to the last transition, fist in the air! Feelin' so good.

Transition #2: Totally forgot to take my helmet off. Steve called it: I ride my damn bike so much that my helmet is second nature – I don’t even realize I’m wearing it.  Thanks again to another random dude who yelled out “HEY NUMBER 155! YOUR HELMET’S ON!”  I’ll call him “Random observant dude.” Very cool.

Photographic evidence of my eagerness to run without first removing my helmet (insert laughter)

Ah, yes. The run. I started out strong with an excellent pace. The sun was beating down at high humidity and about 87 degrees but I was hydrated and felt great.  1.3 miles in, I noticed the path going off-road into a long stretch of grass. I cringed inside. I am terrified of running on grass. And not long after hitting the grass, my fears were realized. *POP* *CRACK* *CRUNCH* …. not good.  I’m rather sure the lady running near me also heard the awesome sound my foot made.  She seemed more concerned than I was because, of course, there’s no feeling pain with adrenaline coursing through your veins.  I looked up to see a water station and the course returning to pavement not too far beyond it. I decided to walk the rest of the way and see if I could continue running on even ground.  While walking, a woman ran up behind me and said “You’re doing GREAT! Keep it up! I saw you pass me on the bike!”  Talk about a much-needed ego boost! I thanked the kind lady and soon after, I hit the pavement.  I progressed into a slow jog – probably the slowest jog I’ve had in 3 years… but I kept moving.  Each time my right foot struck the pavement, it got weaker. It didn’t really hurt, it just kept refusing to bear the weight. I started compensating with a heavier strike on my left foot but I knew that wasn’t smart to do for the rest of the race.  At 2.5 miles, I walked a bit (well, I limped a bit).  At this point, I had a chance to inform Steve (who had met me near the end of the race) and luckily he was close by when about .5 miles away, my foot gave out complete and I came close to biting the pavement. I didn’t fall and I didn’t quit.  Steve grabbed my hand and walked a bit with me until I shook it off and looked at my watch.

Just finishing a triathlon is excellent, but I had a goal in mind: less than 2 hours. I *will* finish in less than 2 hours.  I looked at my watch, held tight to Steve’s hand for stability, and started running to the finish line. I crossed the finish line at 1:52:06! I estimate that my injury cost me at least 10-12 minutes as my run time clocked at 40:12 and my usual 5k is about 28-30 minutes.  So, not too bad if I do say so myself!

Overall, my times were as follows:

Swim: 21:08 T1: 3:22 Bike: 45:39 T2: 1:47 Run: 40:12 Final: 1:52:06

Hell yes! I mean, just look at that! ^ I have triathlon numbers! I have times to beat!

Alive and thrive 155!

In my next race, I’ll take the swim seriously and practice my transitions. Oh, I’ll also do my best not to sprain my foot while running…. yeah. Haha.  I’m already looking for another race in 6 weeks or so… but we’ll have to see what happens with this healing process.  I’ll be sure to keep everyone updated! Until then, stay inspired – and if you need help in that department, sign up for a race – you’ll find some of the most positive, inspiring individuals at these events and they’ll encourage you no matter your time, no matter your pace, no matter your looks, no matter your gender or race.  Out there, living a fit and healthy life is what’s celebrated – and that’s all that should be.

Congratulations to athletes everywhere – And to all the ladies I raced with today, I salute you!

For the past few months, I’ve been dealing with numbness in my feet and legs that gets worse as a I exercise.  For the past few weeks, I’ve been dealing with some intense pain in my hips and quadriceps – worse than any DOMS I have ever experienced.  For the past few days, both have been confounding, excruciating and almost intolerable. Since I don’t take pain meds, I have had a pretty interesting time dealing with this while attempting to assess the root cause.

Having suffered a back injury almost two years ago (which I since rehabilitated), I immediately diagnosed myself with some sort of peripheral neuropathy. It had to be that pesky L4/L5 disc, I thought. What else *could* it be?  I do everything right. I see a dietitian, I have a trainer, I sleep 7-8 hours a night and I have a rest day every week.

And so began making the most of the money I pay for my health insurance. In the past couple weeks I’ve been run through more tests than a lab rat. Each time the doctor’s office appeared on my incoming call list, I cringed – tense and nervous, fully expecting to hear “The doctor would like to see you in the office to discuss the results of your test.”  And each time, I heard “The test results are normal.”

MRI: normal (in fact, I was praised repeatedly by my doctor for presenting a perfect MRI after suffering a ruptured disc less than two years ago).  I am, and will remain, quite proud of this fact. So the pain isn’t my spine.

EMG: normal. Nothing wrong with my nerves.

Blood tests: normal. No vitamin deficiencies or heavy metals in my blood.

X-rays: normal. Bones in my hips and my back are fine. No calcifications in the tendons or ligaments.

Pending a visit to the podiatrist, I am completely healthy. In fact, my doctor believes that the podiatrist will likely find what he has already diagnosed me with: too much exercise.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked. My doc shook his head as I launched into a self-righteous diatribe about how I don’t train half as hard as a lot of people I know – I whined about the whole thing being unfair and how difficult it would be for me to stay out of the gym for… TWO WHOLE WEEKS!? He’s kidding, right?

Nope. Not kidding. He wants me to take anti-inflammatory medication for two weeks and do nothing but light walking. And here I sit, trying to fathom what this is going to be like.  I’m trying to convince myself that it’s going to work. I can only hope.

Never in a million years would I think that I could have symptoms of over-training. But the lesson couldn’t have been articulated with any more simplicity than my doctor presented it to me earlier today: “Your body is unique. It’s not that you did anything wrong, it’s just that doing it ‘right’ doesn’t always mean the same for you as it does others.”  And yeah – I’m still pissed. Why can’t I train hard, too? Why can’t I push myself? Why did I have to find the “wall” at the tender age of 27?

Boo hoo, piss ‘n moan, blah blah blah.  In two weeks, I’ll be swimming and practicing yoga. Switching up my routine to rediscover success. And I’ll be dreaming of plyo and HIIT and murdering that spin bike again in the future… with stronger muscles and, most importantly, a stronger resolve. Secretly, I’m looking forward to it… but don’t tell anyone

This past weekend, I had the great pleasure of participating in the 2011 Fight For Air Climb to benefit the American Lung Association.  Myself along with 700+ others raised over $140,000 for charity and raced up 70 flights of stairs!  Having registered a little late (never heard of the event before!), I didn’t have much time to formally train – but I was lucky enough to have incorporated stair-running into my regular fitness routine about three months ago.  I felt about as prepared as anyone can for something they’ve never done!

I powered up 70 flights (over 1,000 steps) in 11:17!  In the end, I placed 88th overall (out of 700+), 19th in my gender (out of 256) and 6th in my age group (out of 100+)! Needless to say, I’m quite proud of myself and I plan on raising more money next year – and not only for the opportunity to beat my time (and all the other female climbers   Rather, the true reason I want to train hard and climb again is to prove to others that it is never too late and *never* impossible to transform your body.

Three years ago I was an obese smoker.  When I would think about myself with a slender body and the ability to run, jump, climb, and hoist heavy weight – well, I would smile… and I didn’t smile because I thought it was possible, I smiled because I wanted so desperately *for* it to be possible.  But why did I want it? What eventually caused me to believe that it could, in fact, be me?

Ultimately, I never felt that I was meant to be unhealthy and out of shape.  Inside me there was a fire and a feisty attitude that wanted nothing more than the physical strength to match an already-tenacious disposition for survival.  I had gone through so much in life – I had already overcome so many battles, that I was amazed I had allowed myself to become so physically weak amidst all of it.  I began to wonder how fair it was to work so hard on my mind and neglect its vessel – the very vehicle that keeps me here.  I didn’t want to be overweight anymore. I didn’t want to strain to pick something off of the ground. I didn’t want to be out of breath from doing laundry.  I didn’t want to keep ignoring the stomach aches I’d give myself from overeating.  I didn’t want diabetes.  Call it a battle against “determinism” but baby, I wasn’t born that way – and I sure as hell wasn’t going to continue living that way.

So I bought workout DVDs and I added nutrition blogs to my RSS feed – I followed registered dietitians and personal trainers on Twitter and I asked questions. I read magazines and bought a bicycle. I kept getting on the treadmill even in the early days when I had to bind up my midsection just to run comfortably. I never ate fast food or drank soda (ever, at all), I switched white rice and pasta for brown and spent a lot of money on Lean Cuisine.  (For the record, I don’t eat pre-made microwave meals anymore but I still feel they’re an excellent resource for people who are just starting their weight loss journey).

After a year, I lost 30 lbs and became increasingly active and my smoking habit (as casual/occasional as it had become) was a hindrance.  It went.  An additional 20 lbs went with it as no more smoking meant way more physical activity. I felt great – and there was no turning back.  My outlook on life and the positive body image that I had all throughout my weight loss came in handy when I suffered an acute rupture to my L4/L5 – my ability and determination lead me to another 20 lbs of weight loss, all while rehabilitating an injury.

And now I ran up 70 flights (one flight for every pound of weight loss – huh, I just realized that! So cool!) of stairs when three years ago I could barely make it from the basement to the livingroom.  And because of it, I am able to raise money for charity and share my story with those who may be thinking “It’s just not worth it” or “It’s too late, what’s done is done.” I urge you to be your best self, not only for you and your family, but for the great inspiration you can be for those around you, young and old.  With so much bad news in the world today, why not be a beacon of light? Why not make new headlines?

Every now and again when I’m building spin playlists…

Wait, let me pause for a moment and address something: The other day my trainer warned me that when I teach my programs, I can’t call them “spin” classes because apparently it’s a trademarked name and I can be sued. So, I am attempting to transition into calling what I do “cycling” or some variation.

Anyway – as I was saying…

When I google playlists for *ahem* cycling, I am always nothing short of appalled at the song choices that people have.  I have cycled to some wild stuff, trust me, but for the most part I know people need a seriously awesome cadence to keep them in the game – especially toward the end of a 60-minute class when the carbs have burned out of their bodies and their quads and hamstrings are functioning through sheer will power alone.

I find most of the songs that others choose to be without emotion or emphasis behind the cadence – I believe in using songs that evoke a mental image for a lot of people – or at least have the potential to.  And maybe not everyone’s workout has as big of a mental  component as mine, but hell, maybe they’ve never had someone conjure those emotions through the power of loud music and a piece of equipment with two wheels.  And that’s what I aim to do when I build cycling programs…

Encourage you to leave it *all* on the floor – sweat, tears, pain, anger, frustration.  Nothing left but pure power.

Beach Boys – Help Me Rhonda (warm up and stretch)

Michael Jackson – They Don’t Really Care About Us (hover hill climb)

Glee Cast – Burning Up  (seated to hover hill jumps)

Eminem – No Love (seated climb to push backs)

Black Eyed Peas – Pump It (jump sprints)

Bruno Mars – Grenade (hover hill climb)

Matt and Kim – Daylight De La Soul Remix (jogs/isolations)

Devedas – Dola Re Dola (4 count / 4 positions jumps with variations)

Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name (fast hover hill climb)

Basement Jaxx – Raindrops (8 count / 4 position jumps)

The Rolling Stones – Start Me Up (push back jumps)

Phil Collins – I Don’t Care Anymore (seated hill climb to cool down)

Jeff Buckley – Last Goodbye (cool down and stretch)

Originally, I had a post on the docket about the (now infamous) “Twinkie diet” – but since then there have been *several* wonderful blog entries on the topic by Registered Dietitians and other professionals in the wellness world: much like this one.

What has also been on my mind in the past couple of weeks has been pain and pain management.  This is a subject near and dear to my heart, as I have been an advocate of natural pain management my entire adult life.  A couple weeks ago – seemingly out of nowhere – I began to experience a significant pain in (what seemed to be) my right rhomboid major.  For me, any muscular pain is frustrating in the very least as it requires me to assess and reassess what part of my routine was the probable cause for the discomfort and take extra time to stretch the troubled muscle. After consulting with my trainer and receiving some target stretches, I began what I thought would be a short rehabilitation process.

A few days passed, and the pain did not budge.  In fact, not only had it intensified, but I began to suspect that it wasn’t muscular at all. Burning, not throbbing or dull aching, was the afflicting sensation. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor as soon as possible and that following Monday I was diagnosed with shingles. 

Let’s just skip over the whole “I have no idea how this happened because I haven’t been sick (not even a cold) in over 10 years and my family can’t remember me having chickenpox EVER” part.  Instead, let’s focus on the point of the blog entry – the pain.

If you Google “Shingles,” the most common phrase you’ll find is “Extremely painful.”  If you dig deep enough (as I did, obviously), you’ll find several forums with people sharing their experiences dealing with Shingles – some even claiming to resort to narcotics to deal with the pain.  The horror stories I found were all quite disconcerting to me, as even though shingles was not the easiest thing to deal with, it surely wasn’t as bad as some people (my age, mind you) were making it out to be.  Yes, yes, yes – I know that it’s possible that some people’s pain could have been more intense, but I assure you that this was an INTENSE pain.  It wasn’t a walk in the park.  My point is – there are several ways to manage pain without resorting to either over-the-counter or prescribed medications. Unfortunately, we live in a society that (metaphorically and literally) shoves medication down our throats at the first twinge of discomfort!

Now, there is nothing exceptional about my biology or body composition that allows me to endure pain – nothing abnormal, no over-active adrenal glands or anything of the sort.  I am your average run-of-the-mill healthy 20-something who has suffered injuries and illness (albeit the latter not in many, many years) much like anyone else.  The difference, I think, between myself and others is that I have made myself *aware* of the capabilities of the human body to endure and function through pain.  I *believe* that my body *benefits* from feeling pain – because when I do feel discomfort in its uninhibited form, I am in the best position to correct it – and I never forget what needs attention and work.  This philosophy was first tested when I broke my knee at age 19, when I suffered a 3rd degree ankle sprain in 07, and solidified when I ruptured my L4/L5 in the fall of 09.  Various other small inflictions and injuries between the most significant ones were also healed without the aid of medication, only resorting to anti-inflammatory medication  when the pain was intense enough to affect my thought processes.

Do I think I’m Superwoman?  Hell no.  Do I think other people can do exactly what I’ve done?  Yes!  It takes nothing more than considering the possible long-term consequences *not* of the medications themselves (I’m not a doctor or a pharmacist, although I’ve heard that too many meds can negatively impact certain organs), but of the *mindset* that people have when it comes to the slightest discomfort.  If you’re constantly seeking a “quick fix” and you’re unwilling to allow your body to tell you what needs attention – when will you ever truly *feel* anything?  Yes, back pain is one of the most awful experiences one can ever have – I know this first-hand.  HOWEVER, allowing myself to *feel* my back tell me exactly what was wrong and where it needed attention, I was able to rehabilitate the injury over the course of several months.  Had I just popped pain-killers daily, I would have been masking something that needed work – ignoring it until it screamed so loud that I couldn’t shut it up.

I believe the aforementioned hypothetical scenario is why so many people are in chronic pain these days.  Nobody is too busy to listen to their own body, and nobody is too weak to stand up to pain and let it run its course.  I urge people in my life every day to realize their potential when it comes to many things: nutrition, time-management, fitness, and pain management.  We are born at full capacity and it is only we who allow that capacity to be whittled away slowly but surely until we are convinced that nothing but a bottle of Tylenol can make the pain subside.

Be strong.  Live well.  You are worth it.

Hi, FatWaitress -

Remember me?  The blog you suddenly stopped commenting on when I invited you to meet with me in person to have a more in-depth exchange of ideas?  I can only assume that you were afraid of gross inadequacies on your part.  After all, you do misread everything and warp it (not even in a rhetorically-savvy way, either) to fit your agenda, so I can see how you would be lacking when confronted with the arguments in person.  It’s hard to back down, then.

I will see you then, as this silent, faceless, nameless individual who spreads propaganda but fails to engage in substantive discussions and accept critique.  I have removed all of said propaganda from the ladies locker room here at WSU, by the way.  It’s just too bad that Wednesdays happen to be my rest day and I wasn’t there to eliminate it sooner.

People at the gym love their bodies – they love their bodies more than you love yours.  Why?  Because they care about them inside as much as they do out.  And you should be grateful – because the longer we live to pay into social security and medicare, the more money you’ll have to leach off of when you’re diabetic and riddled with heart disease.

There is nothing beautiful about being unhealthy.  Your promotion of it is disdainful and sad, much like your life.  You spend your time writing pointless letters to clothing companies – slapping propaganda around that falls on disinterested eyes.  It’s pathetic.  You could be spending that time not trying to be thin or “dieting,” but simply leading a healthy life – just like all of those women who frequent that locker room are doing.

I can only hope you’ll continue to tape your posters and flyers around, because it gives me even more gratifying opportunities to tear them down.

And… modify them:

One of my favorite hashtags to use on Twitter is #livingwithinjury.  In fact, one of the biggest reasons I decided to make strides toward becoming ACE certified is to be able to share my story with others who may be battling against some seemingly-impossible hurdles.  The battle of mine that has been known to most is the injury I sustained a little over a year ago – an acute rupture of my L4/L5 – a special case, as it ruptured into my spinal cord rather than to the side as most disc ruptures usually do.  It has been a long road in these short 14 months – many nights spent silently crying myself to sleep from a pain and discomfort from which no position could yield relief.  Yes, I admit that a large reason why the road has been so challenging is because I refuse to take pain medication – but trust me, I’d rather feel the *true* situation than numb it, disregard it, and forget about what it takes to correct it.  Couple this physical pain with the stress of beginning my graduate/professional career and a long, drawn-out breakup and you have the potential for disaster.  I look back and realize how many times I could’ve lost control – how many times I could’ve given up.

And while the life-long fragility of my spine is the most difficult challenge I face as someone with a passion for personal fitness, it is not the only one I’ve had to rise above.

I was born with a mild form of hip dysplasia.   While this has not been too big of a deal in my everyday life, it consistently poses challenges to my fitness.  Today, I found myself lying on the mat at the gym with the intention of stretching, instead pondering how the inescapable/unchangeable grand design of my body throws a wrench in my ability to execute (flawlessly) certain maneuvers.  Instead of accepting it, I have always battled against it.  I have refused to succumb to some form of biological determinism – to accept the notion that somehow I was never meant to achieve peak physical ability.  Also – for most people, these small details do not matter – after all, they didn’t matter to me until recently.

I stand at 5’8″ tall and my legs are 28 inches long.  To give you a better visual, my younger sister and I have the same leg length – she stands 5’1″ tall.  Legs as short as mine supporting a torso as long as mine have made my legs both notoriously strong and vulnerable at the same time.  Dysplasia also causes the legs to bend slightly inward at the knee joint – in the most basic visual, the femur and the tibia/fibula are maligned at the patella. Ok, perhaps that wasn’t too basic – but suffice to say, this causes one to battle their own personal geography.  For me, personally, there are several exercises that I struggle with, not due to being out of shape, but due to fighting to keep my legs/feet in a position that elicits the proper bodily response – the position that respects the integrity of the kinetic chain.

The moral of the story has always been and will always be – keep fighting.  There are times when my trainer will point to the “fire” that I have, the passion and stubborn determination that will keep me repeating an exercise over and over again for days on end until I get it right – until I train my body to respect the kinetic chain that I wasn’t born with.

And whenever I feel sad about the pain or the difficulty, I think about how much worse things could be.  I think about how my hard work has paid off despite the fact that it will always take me longer than others to reach certain goals.  Therefore, through all of my experiences I hope to encourage others to realize that their potential goes farther than what the body attempts to convince them that they can’t do.  Perhaps there are exceptions to the rule, but there are always varying degrees of defiance.

I didn’t ask to be born with dysplasia, but if I choose to let it dictate my life – I certainly will have asked for the feeling of failure that comes along with it.

Never let anyone, or anything convince you that you’re not worth it or that it’s not possible.  Whatever “it” is – make “it” happen!

Flirting

After being in a relationship for a while, I completely forgot what it felt like to exchange text messages and share an aim window with a new person – one who sparks your interest, even if ever so faintly in those few days since you made your internet acquaintance.

Why are some people still afraid of dating websites?  It’s healthy to put yourself out there, to know what you want from a new friend or potential partner, to get all dressed up and meet someone for the first time… wondering if they’re gonna think you have a goofy smile or if they’ll make you laugh so hard that you snort…

Oh how embarrassing!  And that’s the excitement!  What will this person think of me?  Will they ever call me again?  Will they walk to their car thinking “Wow, she’s even more amazing in person.”

I think it’s unfortunate how our society sometimes views, what a good friend of mine once referred to as, being the master of one’s own destiny.  Taking control, knowing what you deserve, and going for it.  It feels good.  It feels empowering.

So, I say – go for it!  At the very least, it gives you something more than the mundane to look forward to.   And above all, it’s healthy!